A Brother Offended

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Proverbs 18:19 KJV).

Today’s Scripture reminds us that backstabbing (betrayal) often has irreversible results.

Within the last few weeks, I have personally had to endure two backstabbings, so today’s Scripture is especially fresh in my mind. What grieves me is that both parties were professing grace Christians. Both gained my trust, and both played the hypocrite rather subtlety. One inflicted great damage on me spiritually and emotionally, which I cannot adequately express in words.

One was a “friend” of mine for just over a year, and the other a family “friend” for decades. Both of those relationships were highly distracting for my ministry, they still are, and they pose some difficulties for the ministry and me in the coming years. I was insulted, humiliated, and betrayed, and it makes it all the more painful that they claimed to be grace brethren in Christ. In short, dear saints and readers, I have a broken heart.

As today’s Scripture indicates, an offended family member—either physically or spiritually a family member—is “harder to be won than a strong city.” You can eventually conquer a walled city, but the upset human heart is far more resilient. Some broken relationships can never be restored. We do make every human attempt possible to “live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18), but this does not always come to pass. There are people who are stubborn and prideful, and while they claim to be Christians, they persistently mock Christian charity (even after being repeatedly admonished). They make fellowship with them impossible, so we must avoid them in order to keep the situation from escalating.

Saints, we may lose all of our “friends” for the Lord’s sake—even professing grace Christian brethren will forsake us. Let us not be surprised, but let us rejoice that the Lord is glorified in that. Saints, since our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ lost everything to provide our eternal salvation, let us be willing to lose every relationship in this life for Him.

Published by

Christian ambassador (Shawn Brasseaux)

Grace and peace! What a privilege to be an ambassador for the risen Christ here on WordPress! I am a Pauline dispensationalist Christian saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus plus nothing! My goal is to "have all men saved, and come to the knowledge of the truth" (1 Timothy 2:3,4). I seek to preach Jesus Christ crucified for our sins, buried, and raised again for our justification as the only way to salvation. Also, I seek to edify and perfect the saints using dispensational Bible study and the Authorized Version King James Bible!

6 thoughts on “A Brother Offended”

  1. I am sorry to hear of your situation. I hope that it can be mended. I think this is happening a lot lately….at least I have seen it as well and it does hurt people on every side. I used to never be aware at how destructive pride can be. I think we always have to evaluate ourselves in the situation as well if relationships keep getting broken and make sure that we are doing all that we can as Romans 12:18 suggests. I can be so difficult when strong emotions are at play. Great post…keep on keeping on…..

    1. Thank you, Shanon, for the insight. Unfortunately, after 18 months of trying to resolve the situation, it ended in absolute disaster this evening. Emotions were heavily involved with the other party, and now the only thing that can work is to just quit communicating with the person. It was a waste of time from the very beginning, and while the ministry was affected for all these months, this extremely emotional “Christian” let this awful situation drag on for all those months knowing full well what was happening to me!! It’s such a painful event, and please continue praying for this ministry.

  2. I have been in the same situation with very close family memebers and it has been so difficult and stressing. Your posts have been a source of comfort, encouragement and edification at just the right times (giving thanks to our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, here). I pray you will have the same.

    The hard part for me is having no fellowship with faithful brethren (it is just me) whose desire is to follow Paul as he followed Christ.

  3. Shawn, I am praying for you regarding this betrayal and understand how painful it is having gone through something similar a few years ago. These wounds go deep and the only one who can mend our broken hearts is the Lord Jesus Christ. Though others may betray and forsake us, Jesus never will. Continue to cry out to Him and take comfort in His Word.

    King David experienced this sort of betrayal as well and it surely strengthened his faith in the Lord.

    Psalm 55:12-14 & 16-18

    12 For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:

    13 But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.

    14 We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.

    16 As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me.

    17 Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.

    18 He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me.

    The following excerpt from A.W. Tozer’s book “Man-The Dwelling Place of God” (Chapter 39 The Saint Must Walk Alone) was also an encouragement and comfort to me in that very lonely time and I pray it encourages you as well.

    “The loneliness of the Christian results from his walk with God in an ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from the fellowship of good Christians as well as from that of the unregenerate world. His God-given instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because within his circle of friends there are so few who share his inner experiences he is forced to walk alone.

    The unsatisfied longings of the prophets for human understanding caused them to cry out in their complaint, and even our Lord Himself suffered in the same way.

    The man [or woman] who has passed on into the divine Presence in actual inner experience will not find many who understand him. He finds few who care to talk about that which is the supreme object of his interest, so he is often silent and preoccupied in the midst of noisy religious shoptalk. For this he earns the reputation of being dull and over-serious, so he is avoided and the gulf between him and society widens.

    He searches for friends upon whose garments he can detect the smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia out of the ivory palaces, and finding few or none he, like Mary of old, keeps these things in his heart.

    It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. His inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else.”

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